Sunday, 20 December 2015

Has My Attitude to Women Changed Since Having a Daughter?

The totally wonderful @parentinginpyjamas was looking for questions for a blog post. So I made an agreement with her I'll ask you a question and you ask me one.

You can read her fab post with answers to all the questions she was asked here. In return she posed me the more serious question:

Has my attitude towards woman changed since having a daughter?

I thought long and hard about this last night and then again today. I puffed my e-cig, walked the dog, bathed #BabyPink all the while in the back of my head I was constantly asking the question and trying to think of humorous anecdotes to prove my point either way.

After all this thinking my head hurt. So I called herself and told her to bring me a paracetamol and a Budweiser, then told her to get the kids to bed as they were making noise. Once she had finished washing and cleaning she could go across to her friends house for 10 mins to smoke a fag. But not to be long in case #BabyPink woke for a bottle.

I must have drifted off to sleep as the next thing I remember is being thumped in the back. "The Child" "the child" she said to me.
I fumbled for the bottle and put in #BabyPinks mouth.Five minutes later she was back to sleep.

Ha sorry to disappoint you all but I'm not a Neanderthal who thinks the woman should raise the children and cook and clean.
I've done nearly every night feed since my son was born, and he was a poor feeder and sleeper. A few ounces every three hours, 30 mins minimum to get wind up and he didn't stop bottles at night till he was about Three!! I've been peed on, pooped on and had more sick down my back from all the kids, than I care to remember. I cook, I clean ( under duress) and empty bins etc.

  • I still think woman should be treated right.
  • I open doors for them. (Out of politeness)
  • I give up my seat on the bus. (Not because they can't stand, because it's mannerly)
  • I help them carry boxes and bags. (Again not because they can't do it themselves, but it's the right thing to do.)
  • I'd stop to help a lady change her tyre.
So No my attitude to woman hasn't changed since I had a daughter.

What has changed?

I've realised girls/woman have it bloody hard.
I'd not paid as much attention before, but now all I think about is how tough it is for a girl to grow up and get ahead in this world.

When I worked in an office I could roll out of bed 30 mins before being at work, a quick wash, teeth brushed, shirt and tie on that was ironed night before and off I go with a bit of stubble. Nothing was ever said to me. Yet I'm sure the girls in the office had to make sure they looked their best if they wanted to get ahead.

If a girl is a bit promiscuous she's called a "slut" a fella is called a "stud"
If girls like soccer and "men's" sports she's a lesbian or just looking for eye candy.

Girls are bombarded with airbrushed photos of super thin models and picture perfect movie stars, who have personal trainers, stylists and image consultants and told this is how they must look. Lads can go around however they want and nothing is said.

Even from an early age even the toys girls are "supposed" to play with are based on antiquated ideals. Dolls, prams, play kitchens and cleaning items. If she wants to play with balls and tractors, she is labelled a Tom boy. To be fair though if a boy plays with dolls and tea sets he is labelled a sissy.

The girls so have it worse. Bitchy comments from other girls, pressure to be one of the "cool" kids. Hormones, periods, pressure to "put out" and have a boyfriend.

I wouldn't change #BabyPink for the world, but it looks like I'll have to try and change the world for her.

No comments:

Post a Comment