Wednesday, 13 May 2015

5 Reasons I Love Being a SAHD

I have to admit the role of SAHD was thrust upon me, rather than it being a choice. Nine years ago I had a great job as a Supervisor
on the Night Shift in one of the biggest online Gaming Companies in Europe. We had herself's two boys and we were expecting our first child together.

Then things changed. Herself had a very difficult pregnancy. Her epilepsy got worse. It seemed not a week went by without a visit to the GP or the maternity ward. I was having to leave work early, take time off etc. I stood down as Supervisor, went to day shifts, still the same. The company were very good, allowing me enough time of as and when needed. It started to affect me though. I hated missing days at work!

Eventually though I had to leave. At the same time the youngest boy was diagnosed with Autism. We knew his behaviour was different and he was way behind on all his developmental milestones, particularly his speech, but that was something we didn't expect.

Due to her epilepsy and the Autism diagnosis we decided I wouldn't return to work and would go as his full time carer. This has taken me years to adjust to mentally. My adopted parents brought me up to work. Since I was 16 and doing my GCSE retakes I had worked. Sometimes two or three jobs.

Even when my son came along I didn't fully appreciate the benefits of being at home full time. I constantly looked at what we were missing. A nice car, being able to buy a house (phew! the economy crashed shortly after and we would have been one of those families stuck in negative equity), a couple of holidays, etc etc. It is only now I can see all the things I get that working Dads don't. Here are my top 5.

  1. Milestones - I've seen every single one. First gurgle, first step, first word Da Da (#minifistpump - it wasn't Mama) first time on the potty, first poo in the bath, first scraped knee etc etc etc Now with #BabyPink I get to see all of hers.
  2. Occaisions - Again I've not missed one. Communions, birthdays, school plays, soccer matches, karate tournaments, even training sessions I've been there for them all.
  3. Homework - I'm there every night to help them with their reading, check their maths, help them when they are stuck, rub it out when the handwriting is messy. Ask them their spellings over till they know them.
  4. Cooking - I always enjoyed cooking, even when I was young I used to help my adopted mother. I did Home Economics at school - GCSE B. When I was working I'd come home and dinner would be in the microwave, or 'd take it to work to heat up. Now I'm at home I get to cook and the boys can help.
  5. Discipline - When I was working I wasn't there as much with the boys, so when I was I got to do the fun stuff, watch DVD's, take them to the park, out to the soccer pitch for a kickabout. Now I'm not just the fun Dad, I get to help shape and mould them into mannerly, well behaved young adults. It's also better to be able to see it and punish them there and then, rather than walking in the door to be told what they'd done. 
There are plenty more things I get to do, that you working Dad's don't. There are days I still daydream about that shiny brand new car, or jetting off to the sun for a day or two just because we can. Then one of the kids does something and I say to myself " I'd have missed that if I was at work" and it makes the pain of missing it just that little bit less.

Modern Dad Pages


  1. The world needs more dads like you!!!

  2. The world needs more dads like you!!!

    1. Oh I'm far from perfect , but I do my best.
      Thanks for reading and the lovely comment.

  3. This is really great to see a SAHD's point of view. I've stayed home since my first child was born and I feel the same way. Even though my husband works we feel fortunate that at least one of us is home with the kids through the good times and the bad. I know I'm not cut out to hear about the milestones from the daycare lady! A childhood goes by so fast and then you have all the time in the world to work.

    Read this from #wineandboobs. Here's my Top 10 post about life with toddlers:

  4. So true Coco. There is another blog post for the things I dislike. But on reflection I'd rather be there for everything than just getting a big smile when I came home from work.